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  1. SpiderBabe
  2. Dinosaur Valley Girls
  3. Dungeon of Desire
  4. Robotrix
  5. Playmate of the Apes
  6. Lord of the Strings
  7. Killer Klowns From Outer Space
  8. Hot Vampire Nights
  9. Erotic Witch Project
  10. Chosen One: Legend of the Raven
  11. Inn of 100 Sins
  12. Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw
  13. Scrapbook
  14. Erotic Survivor
  15. Vamps Deadly Dreamgirl
  16. Psycho Sisters
  17. Candy
  18. Midnight Madness
  19. In The Flesh
  20. Lethal Seduction

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Super 8 film-guru Danny Plotnick's 16th film, I'm Not Fascinating: The Movie ('96) is a beautiful understatement of the pursuit of success in rock 'n' roll.
The Pepsi-obsessed, slobbishly dressed San Franciscan Icky Boyfriends, Anthony Bedard (drums), Shea Bond (guitar) and vocalist Jonathan Swift (all playing themselves and identifiable by the names written on their socks) are a rock band on the road to nowhere. True to their name, the trio all have short-lived, unfruitful relationships.
By day, to support the band, Anthony and Shea are instructors at a comedy school, where they teach skills like proper prat falls (taught by their slogan, "Leg down, no clown; leg up, bust a gut!"), the use of hand puppets and the infamous spit-take (sip a drink; straightman asks question; spew out drink and deliver punchline).
Jonathan, on the other hand, refuses to stoop to having an actual job. He spends days getting his hair done by a stylist who excitedly tells him his Afro-like hair mass, is "so big and fluffy."
Even with fluffy hair, Jonathan can't hold a relationship. When his girlfriend breaks up with him, he asks her: "What about the time you said no one else could do it for ya?"
"I think what I said was, 'No one can make me cum like I can', " she replies.
The breakup (as well as Anthony and Shea's breakups) is musical inspiration to Jonathan, who writes "No One Can Make Me Cum Like I Can." The band perform a live grunge/punk version of it at a garage concert just in time to catch the eye of a nameless Past It Records exec (Chris Enright).
Discovering the band from the parking lot, this lanky dude with sunglasses, a large peace-symbol medallion and an opened shirt displaying a hairy chest offers to sign them to his label.
After Past It Records (which, according to a trailer after the movie, is a real record label in San Francisco) signs the band, the exec puts together a focus group who, although they seem more interested in the free snack food than The Icky Boyfriends, manage to record their negative opinions.
Thus, the record exec initiates his murderous "Operation Image Improvement."
Movie bonuses include a post-credit scene, without which the film would be incomplete, and trailers for Plotnick's Pillow Talk ('91) and Death Sled II: Steel Belted Romeos ('90), two shorts featured on the video compilation Small Gauge Shotgun ('92), a dual effort between Plotnick and Jim Sikora, showcasing eight award-winning film shorts.
Small Gauge Shotgun also includes Plotnick's Flip About Flip ('90) and Dumbass From Dundas ('88). The other four shorts, Terminal Hotel, Bring Me the Head of Geraldo Rivera, Stagefright Chameleon and Love, After the Walls Close In, are supplied by Sikora. The average length is about 10 minutes.
A couple of my favorite shorts:
Pillow Talk: My favorite installment, this is a whopping 18 minutes of Laura Rosow's brilliant portrayal of a single, 25-ish woman trying to sleep in her urban apartment. She has had it with the next-door neighbors, who nearly always have loud sex, and the guy downstairs who beats his wife and son at all hours of the night. Rosow tears up the sheet-rock wall beside her bed with a hammer, yells and beats on the floor. In the laundry room, she crazily confronts an old woman and shoves her head into the washing machine. She then turns on the family downstairs, their accusations at her of the other neighbors' sex sounds disarms her rage.
Death Sled II: Steel Belted Romeos is based on a true story. After near-missing another car at a sharp curve, Plotnick is harassed at a stop light by its driver and passenger - two uptight Italian Wiseguy- wannabes. While it seems to take forever for the light to turn green, we see these guys blowin' steam, in character and out. I love the surrealistic cuts: Pop! They're soundin' off in full-clown costume. Cut. Now they're buck-ass naked. (10 minutes)
Plotnick is a self-propelled media spectacular. I eagerly await the next installment from him. He can rigidly adhere to his love of the Super 8, a cross between the archaic 8-millimeter film (remember those old, silent home-movies, or nickel peep show loops?) and Beta. I suspect that we will see either a big-screen debut or national broadcast of new Plotnick material soon.
I'm Not Fascinating: The Movie and Small Gage Shotgun are available for $20 each (postage paid) from Peeling Eyeball, P.O. Box 460472, San Francisco, CA 94146.

If you're in the mood for an early strange black-and-white film featuring Yoko Ono and loaded with drugs, sex and violence, try out Satan's Bed.
In 1965, while The Beatles were working on Help!, Ono was working on her film debut, Satan's Bed. This black-and-white film is actually two stories - Judas City, an unfinished film by someone named Tamijian, and another about a naive Japanese woman referred to as "Babysan" (I had to guess the spelling) and played by Ono - inter-cut to make one feature film.
Filmmaker Ed Wood (Plan 9 from Outer Space) used to do this, with about as much success. It just doesn't work. As much as Satan's Bed's editor tried to meld the two films into one story, it's still two films. Even a novice film viewer will be able to tell instantly. To splice the two separate stories together, the producer put voice-overs over some scenes. But they're out of place.
There are no credits in the film, so good luck trying to figure out who the supporting cast are.
The opening scene (from Judas City) introduces three hoodlum drug addicts - two men in loose-fitting, dark shirts and one woman in a tight-fitting sweater, tight jeans and knee-high leather boots, who need money for "stuff." Snake, the group's leader, tells the others not to worry. They take off, leaving behind a woman tied to a pool table, her legs spread eagle, in their low-rent apartment.
Meanwhile, Babysan, wearing a nice (but not very flattering) loose kimono, has just arrived in New York City and is with Paulie, her fiance and, unknown to her, a drug dealer. Paulie, a sharply-dressed, sincere fellow, wants to get out of the drug business so he and his betrothed can start life anew. He checks Babysan into a respectable (albeit not lavish) hotel. "Everything will be OK," he assures her, handing her a wad of cash for safe keeping, to be put in the bank after their marriage.
The film cuts to the Judas City gang spying through an apartment window on a woman showering and dressing. The front door is opened with a switchblade, and the gang, "who still need more money," search the home. They rough-up the woman and rape her, which she oddly seems to enjoy.
The scene is cut, and we're back to watching Ono's film.
This continues, the films going back and forth. Babysan is robbed, raped, yet remains hospitable. The Judas City trio do some raping and thieving themselves. On with the death and destruction.
This film has all the markings of a worthwhile drive-in movie (sex, drugs, violence, T 'n' A) but lacks any real substance.
UPDATE: Satan's Bed has finally come to home video, click here for more info.

Dead Girls ('90) is the name of a leather-clad, glam-rock band made up of four scantily dressed women and one man. A well-produced who-dunnit romp with plenty of suspects throughout the film to keep you guessing, Dead Girls has a two-fold-with-a-twist climax of murder mayhem.
However, the lack of any musical material by the band is disappointing and annoying. References to songs are made throughout the film, but we never get to hear them. (Exceptions are "You've Got to Kill Yourself" and "Angel of Death," played during the opening and ending credits.)
The band's music, focused on death, dying and suicide, generates a cult following. Band member Gina Virelli, a.k.a. Bertha Beirut (Diana Karanikas), has a teenage sister, Brooke (Ilene B. Singer), who, along with half a dozen friends, slices her wrist, as per the lyrics of a Dead Girls song.
Brooke ends up being the sole survivor of the group suicide. This causes the band, which also includes drummer (Steven Kyle); Suzie Striker (Angela Scaglione); Nancy Napalm, a.k.a. Amy (Kay Schaber); and Dana (Angela Eads), to question their death gimmick and postpone all gigs for a two-week retreat at a cabin in the woods. Gina insists on bringing Brooke, who is comatose from her failed suicide attempt, and her personal nurse (Dierdre West).
When the band, arrive at the cabin (which happens to have a mentally challenged, hulking caretaker, Elmo [David Williams]), a string of murders start with the first victim being an obsessed groupie in torn jeans, biker leathers and a black wig, who followed the band.
Each murder is inspired by a different Dead Girls song.
Directed by Dennis Devine, Dead Girls was released by defunct Rae Don Home Video.

Shot, edited and produced with semi- professional video equipment, Las Vegas Blood Bath (1989) was a forerunner for self-produced video releases. The acting is well below par, but we've come to expect that from features like this. Some of us even like it.
This film is heavy on sex, blood, guts and gore. Thanks to the special effects and makeup by David Dalton (who puts on Las Vegas haunted-house shows), it is either disgusting or hilarious, depending on your disposition. The first time I watched it, I really busted a gut laughing.
When I shared it with some friends, the males got the gist of the gross humor, unanimously rejoicing at the gore and guffawing at the puns, but our girlfriends said it was "gross" and that they were going to puke. They opted to go shopping instead!
Blood Bath opens with big-wheel businessman Sam Butler (Ari Levin), in his Sacramento, California, office, celebrating the close of a big deal. Over the phone, he buys a coveted red sports car for his recently impregnated wife and intends to drive it to their Las Vegas home as a surprise celebratory gift.
Meanwhile, his wife, Ruthie (Elizabeth Anderson), and a Las Vegas Police officer (Jerry Raganesi) are undressing to their skivvies and making out on Ruthie's bed.
Sam arrives home to an empty pair of men's shoes in the doorway. He peeks into the bedroom and sees the naked couple asleep in each other's arms. Very calmly, he removes the cop's gun from its holster - still attached to the pants on the floor - takes aim and kills the pair.
Deciding that all women are sluts and that they will pay, Sam takes to cruising in his sports car. Mid-day, he picks up a lady-of-the-night (Tina Prunty), wearing a spandex skirt, high heels and a gold-sequined tube top. After she gives him a peak of her breasts, she directs him behind an apartment building. Outside the car, the hooker asks, "What's your pleasure?"
"Head," he replies as he removes a basketball-sized, towel-wrapped parcel from the trunk. He has her lie on the ground and ties her hands to the base of the building's electrical box, in an effort to "try something different." She doesn't resist.
He says, "If you give me head, I'll give you one," and reveals that the parcel is the head of his late wife, Ruthie.
The hooker responds undramatically: "Oh, no."
He pokes a knife into the hooker's face from throat to nose, then secures one end of a rope around her right ankle and the other end his car's rear bumper. Then he drives with her bloody leg dangling behind and leaves the rest of her body still tied to the building. At the end of the block he stops and nonchalantly drops the leg into a trash bin.
He continues on this woman-killing rampage, eventually running into the (bikini-clad) Beautiful Ladies of Oil Wrestling (BLOW), one of whom (Barbara Bell) is massively pregnant (and whom he later takes to her own bedroom to "play gynecology and obstetrics").
In one grotesque moment of comic relief, a Jehovah's Witness (special effects wizard Dalton in a brief cameo), pokes his head in the front door of the BLOW-members home and says, "Jehovah's Witness . . ."
Sam cuts him off by slamming the door so hard that it sends the Witness's decapitated head tumbling onto the floor.
"You're not a Witness anymore," he exclaims before he fondly recalls, "My wife used to be a Jehovah's Witness."
Las Vegas Blood Bath was sold via classified advertising in various print media, but was only available for a short time (possibly due to the rumor that none of the actors were paid), and the city of Las Vegas strictly disavows any knowledge of the project.

In this two-hour documentary, which was broadcast live on a Dayton, Ohio, cable-access station, "UFO Expert" Klark Kent gives a highly uniform monologue presentation. He appears so familiar with the material that it sounds like he has delivered it many times in seminars.
Not having much knowledge about the UFOs, I referred the film to MUFON (Mutual UFO Network) director James E. Clarkson, who helped me authenticate the material. According to Clarkson, Kent knows what he's talking about:
"One of Klark's best points is how he defined the manner by which the UFO question will be solved: 'It will not be solved by the scientific establishment . . . [but] by American entrepreneurship, a grass-roots response of people trying to understand the phenomena and perhaps even trying to duplicate it with fringe technologies.' . . . This is a sound observation."
Kent presents a wealth of informative data with a slide projector, dandily operated by a foot switch. (It might have been a better idea to transfer the slides to video and cut to them, rather than to videotape their projection onto a screen, but what's a guy on a tight budget to do?)
This is not the type of show that will sway a skeptic, but for those interested in UFO research, there is plenty of thought-provoking material, such as death-bed confessions of military personnel sworn to secrecy and references to documents and photos that will leave you asking, "Where'd he get those slides?"
A wide variety of spacecrafts (including the cigar-shaped, triangular and saucer ships) and aliens (such as the ominous greys, the angelic blondes and others) are discussed throughout the monologue, leaving little ground unturned.
According to Kent, UFO phenomena are not transient and have been increasing since World War II, when Earth had its first nuclear detonations.
The first half of the film is in presentation format, and the second features phone-in interaction between Kent and the program's viewers. It was refreshing to see a show where the calls were not judiciously screened. Some callers describe their encounters and hope for some validation. Others call Kent a kook with a phony name. One insists that he display his driver license to the camera. Religious callers, who are treated to Klark's Biblical references of UFOs, either claim the phenomena are foolish or part of God's plan. Other questions are about Area 51, the Bermuda Triangle and crop circles. All camps - pro, con, on-the-fringe and who-could-care-less - are represented.
I extend my gratitude to Mr. Clarkson for his input.
The two-hour video is available a bon marche of $10 (postage paid) from Big Beef Productions, P.O. Box 303 WBB, Dayton, Ohio 45409.

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Dave Lewis, a non-recovering videophiliac, is constantly on the lookout for strange and unusual videos. If you have an independent film (with or without good production values) or know of a rare or unique film that may be good for review, please write:
Dave Video Addict, P.O. Box 1753, Aberdeen, WA 98520. Or, e-mail Dave at

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